-Imagine what a horrible place it would be if the laws of physics only worked most of the
time! Russ
-If you think it will happen to someone else, remember this. YOU are someone else to 5
billion people... Russ
-Dreams are the answers to the questions we haven’t yet learned to ask. X-Files
-When arguing with someone, think about this. They know they are right just as much as
you know you are Russ
-The biggest proof that there is life elsewhere in the universe (Intelligent), is that it hasn’t
tried to contact us! unknown
-one can always find something complex in the simplest of things Russ
-if you are falling from the top of a skyscraper, just go limp. People on the ground will
look up and say, “Hey, a free dummy,” and run to catch you. Dan in my cabin from
camp
-If you live in the US, and you are on welfare, even then, you are in the top 2% of wealth
in the world. Dan from my cabin in camp
-trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again from a sign in a yard
-the louder I am, the more people will like me Brad Briggs
-if you want to get a headache, think about this. What if our universe makes up an
electron, that is in an atom, which is part of a skin cell lodged under a beings toenail.
That beings universe makes up a proton that is part.... Russ
-sarcasm is good, as long as you don’t have to keep explaining that you are being
sarcastic. Russ
-I hope that those 3rd world countries that the US attacked with an air strike (in August
of ‘98) retaliate. I hope they launch a barrage of missiles at us from off-coast
submarines, directed at our capital city. If we are in luck, they will all go astray,
destroying nameless suburbs and killing thousands of innocent people. That would teach
them... Russ
-Russ, you’re crazy, sick and... referring to the last one Ryan O’grady
-“I’m going to invest 400 dollars in stock for a telecommunications company. I looked
for the one with the cheapest shares, and if I’m lucky, Ma’ Bell or at&t will buy them
out, and I will make 10 thousand dollars.(Ryan O’grady)
“That’s stupid, you could loose 400 dollars, If I lost 400 dollars, I would cry. Do
you know how many new clothes that would buy?(Amy Bonine)
Geez Ryan, If I spent 400 dollars on clothes, I would cry too!(Russ)”
-If our planet is the only one with life on it, all I have to say is, “What a terrible waste of
space!” Unknown
-The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard Unknown
-Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney Unknown
-Look-warm. does it look warm yet? If it looks warm, its lookwarm Russ
-What is the shortest length of time? Now! Russ
-I just learned that it is possible for my wife to get pregnant, even though we are using
three forms of birth control, simultaneously! -camp counselor
-(after wearing his pants for a few hours, Seth Weldy said this when he went to put his
hands in his pockets) “My pants are on backwards” Seth Weldy
-(after hearing a not very funny joke which goes like this, “A guy walks up to a outhouse,
and sees someone bending over in it, reaching through the hole. He asks, “What are you
doing?” and the guy in the out house says, “I’m trying to reach my jacket that fell in
here” He replies, “Why do you want your jacket?” The man says, “Because my lunch is
in the pocket.”, Seth says) So, this guy left his jacket in an outhouse, and he went back to
get it, but somebody was in there. He yelled to him, “where’s my jacket?” The guy
said,” back in here and I lost my lunch. Bend over and I’ll get it for you” Seth Weldy
-what if tomorrow, someone discovered that 2 plus 2 doesn’t always equal 4? Russ
-Why is it, that on your 18th birthday, you get a letter in the mail from the US
government. It is a card you fill out and send back signing up for the selective services or
something. You have to do it legally, and why don’t they sign you up for it
automatically. They ask stuff like, “Where do you live,” even though they sent it to your
house. Russ
-Why is it that fire-escape plans are commonly placed next to an exit? Like in an
emergency, you’re going to stop and look at the plan. Oh no! You could be using the
wrong door! Russ
-What’s funny, is watching a fly land on any surface. Usually they don’t land, the sort of
crash, and end up on their feet Russ
-Wherever you go, there you are Unknown
-Forgetting to carry and umbrella will cause it to rain, as works vice-versa. However,
bringing and umbrella with the intent of preventing the rain never works, such as
forgetting it to make it rain. unknown
-Many times people ask me if they are in my way, I only reply, truthfully, “Nope, that
only time you could be in my way, is if you are telling me what to do, yelling at me, or
anything like that.” Russ
-“SEP” that means somebody else’s problem. Something that some of us tend to say
when we don’t feel like fixing something
-Wouldn’t it be nice if life had rewind, fast-forward, pause and slow-motion buttons?
Then we could all enjoy and relive our best moments, and skip through our worst. Russ
-Talking to Dan Nugent, “You know, as much as I don’t smoke pot, I actually like the
smell of it. It’s almost like an incense.” Russ
-“Why pay for something that makes you lazy, hungry and dumb!?!” Meaning pot Christi
from
Point
-said by a character in a comic strip, “I’m tired of wading around in the shallow end of
the gene pool.” Comic artist